060610 Malakoff Charity Ride - Siam

Day 3 - Siam Day

“Doa” was recited to ensure the well being of all riders. Praise to “Him”, the last trek will be soundly safe.


D TV3 guys & some other roadies









The back roads of Kelantan will normally be the last thing on anyone’s mind. To venture there is like walking into the unknown, more like crawling into a dark cave totally blind. Hidden treasures await you though.

Oh, you wouldn’t know what’s in store in these backwaters.

This time we rode right next to the a river separating Malaysia & Thailand. & every 4 kilos or so, there will be an army post to keep a lookout for illegal aliens & their non legal activities. I doubt they’ll even get out today. They rather go into hiding as the blaring sirens of the entourage smears the tranquility.

Shhhhh…At times it’s almost deserted & you can hear the rolling tyres sounds skimming over the tarmac.




Zafry Fauzi & Yazid Ismail leadin d pack

Firstly, the roadies were pampered with shades, smooth terrain & spectacular kampong scenery. We’re riding on the dark grey ribbon of tree lined rod that sits right beside Thailand.

I had always wanted to roll on the biggest chaining & the endless path was just too inviting to pass. Technically I rode substantial kilometers on the 53-11 rings & cassette. A BIG feat for an OTAI like me I must say. Well, the route was pancake-flat topped with an icing of cool tree canopies over our heads. After 2 days of mind boggling distance, the body began to acclimatize to the regime. We moved on like a heard of cattle - mowing everything in front of us.


Apai, Anuar Manan, Aini, Yazid, A Rahim Anuar & Pak Berahim

We rest awhile in Rantau Panjang….The three lady riders wanted to go shopping here but stop short as the other howled their dissatisfactions. The small townsfolk gathered in amazement of the brouhaha. We were ticked pink by the attention.


Haji Rahim & Jack

We emerged from the shadows of the canopies to be greeted by the biggest statue within these parts of our country.

Its as it time stood still. A behemoth statue of the sleeping Buddha awaits you at Wat Phothivihan in Cabang Empat, Tumpat. This statue is known as the longest sleeping Buddha in South East Asia. It is almost 40m long. There is also a sizable Thai community here. That comes to show that the Islamic state of Kelantan is tolerant to other cultures & religions, contrary to some belief. See with your own eyes…
For the tired body, the sight of the reclining body, cool relax facial expression & droopy eyed statute is enuff to make you yawn too. Probably dozing-off for a spell will do some good but time is not on our side. Tok Janggut & Apai just couldn’t resist a catnap for a couple of minutes


Finally my twin arrived!


Apai, u gotta elongate your ear. Similarities are there!

As I shot these riders mimicking the laid back statue, shrills of laughter filled the air broke the silent lucidity. I hobbled towards the commotion with my clunky SIDI’s which is definitely not made for running. To my amusement, I caught Shaharom & Anuar Manan making a clown of themselves to the delight of the Siamese foster kids.


Sleeping beauties

How heart warmed I felt after seeing young parent-less innocent faces filled with joy & beaming with at our presence. It melted my soul & made my eyes teary. As I smiled, a tear rolled down my already charred baby faced cheeks…


"Ceria" Siamese orphans

These two buffoons were jumping “Jump Rope” with frenzied clapping kids in the background. Their silly antics brightened the usually mundane life of the foster home.

“Jump Rope” - A children game of physical perseverance & not for the bulky physique. It requires a string of about 7-8 feet long. Requires good timing of the player between the act of jumping and the movement of the rope. The trick is not to get entangled within the chains of rubber bands, but nowadays they use a commercially manufactured semi rubber-plastic material with is less elasticity. Lately there has been talk that these artificial rubber bands are made from used condoms!

We left the sleeping beauty to his own devices. We’ve more kilos to cover - can’t even blink!


When we were kids, our parents couldn't afford these

On arrival at the duck restaurant, we dropped our butts to the awaiting chairs, ready to be served the best duck curry in town. Duck curry in Tumpat. Some of the guys ate without knowing it was duck’s flesh & they felt nauseous. Some even went to extend of expelling the contents of their stomach. What a waste. They don’t know what they’re missing. Duck is tastier than chicken even though ducks loves scouring the muddies. Duck? Yuck!






Lost in transit & confused


Ciannnnnnnnnnnnn...

Rolled by the seafront in Pantai Seri Tujuh & like a wizard on wheels, Anuar Manan halted the train on its tracks & stopped the speeding train from chugging over us.







3km to go, everyone got really excited & sprayed water at one another. Gone were the pain & agony of the journey. We were chucking merrily as we approached the end of our adventure.




Young old man & young boy


Malakoff's clan

We screamed with delight – arms raised in triumph as if we’ve won the World Bike Tour.


Daoh, me, Aini, Farid & Apai





I must thank everyone in Malakoff 4 such an excellently organized bike ride. The monies that we personally contributed so small & nothing compared to the sheer hard work & noble cause that you guys did. Bearing in mind, it’s our responsibility to help the less fortunate.

May the “Almighty” bless you people for the good deeds & for the successful event.

For me, I made it even though I was rather worried, skeptical & unsure of my capabilities. If not for Aini - Rambling Balls of Fire’s assurance (Kalau aku tak abis malu weh, coz she completed it!) I’d probably think twice. The distance really scared the s*** out of me.

On a normal weekend, I’d normally do an 80-100 or 130km the most but doin a 160km? You gotta be nuts! And at 3pm with the blistering afternoon sol & the entire extreme seaside wind conditions…phew. What the #$%@?!

With high spirits, we concluded the three seemable hard days into one big triumph.






Black is Beautiful!

I had fun getting sun burned & not to mentioned, eggs fried & the sausages barbecued. A dream came thru after all the sweat n tears.



KB - KT - Tanah Merah - KB

Google route - click here



Njoi da video... ManCIOCC

TV3 Scoreboard vid

050610 Malakoff Charity Ride - Rollin

Day 2 - Rollin Day

Woke up fresh. Not a single strain felt.
Was it a dream that I did the 160km yesterday? Oh yeah, you made the 1/3 brudder. Today is the crunch. The dreaded 190km. I was mentally prepared all right for the onslaught. I aint gonna torment myself with silly & uninspiring thoughts. I’ll tackle it a kilo at a time.

On this cool wet morning & some feelin stiff from last nite - Shahrom powerman made sure that we stretched ourselves to the max for this tuff route.

Mornin surf was beatin lazily onto the beach. The sun peeked & winked to the riders between the trees as we rolled by & bid adieu to Kuala Terengganu. Don’t be fooled by her cynical expressions, coz I know her too well. She’ll fry us to kingdom come.





50 km & at out first refuel area, the soreness on my left shoulder just wouldn’t go away. And so I had no choice but to morph myself into the Hunchback of Notre Dame yet again. Being half horse half human (Sagittarius), within a blink of an eye – I shoved 2 ice packs up my shoulders. It felt numb almost immediately by the stinging ice but I’d rather be frostbitten than be crooked-headed for the rest of the ride.


The Ice packs of Not so Dame...






AJ & Anuar Manan leadin the clan

Rollin it was. Much of a roller coaster I would say the terrain was. As times it seems unthinkable to be able to keep up with the pace. The mounts were almost endless but the down hills were merciful too.


"I made it so far..." Farid Reds Payed

Roughly 20 km before lunch we were told to stop even though there was much fuel left in our muscles. We came to an abrupt stop – the aroma of driying "keropok" was too inviting. Apparently lunch isn’t ready as yet so we had to settle for some finger food.
Fiesta came to town & the air was alive with sweaty humanoids jostled for the "Keropok lekor". This power stick was the talk of the town.
The phallic resembling crackers were snapped up within minutes but I don’t wanna spoil my appetite. I had a hunch that lunch is gonna be special. So I liquidated myself wit 2 helpings of ice-cooled Len Chi Kang. RM1.50 a bowl – so bloody cheap.


This ol' skool was too cool to let by...

Barely an hour in our ride, we were ushered into this “E-Rup E-Sup” loosely meaning “To drink the soup”.

My predictions & premonition was true. We were served with the best soup in town. Never mind the slightly late lunch. I was well earned. Belief me people I always had great precognition. My future sight is always right. What a glutton we had become. A mountain of rice & uncountable bowls of soup. I can still taste it in my buds.


So "Gelojoh" we were...

Some of us even had “Tuak” - The sap derived from incising the flower clusters of the coconut is drunk as “Tuak/Nira”, or fermented to produce palm wine, also known as "Toddy" or, in Malaysia, the sap can be reduced by boiling to create a sweet syrup or candy, too. A by-product, sweet honey-like syrup used as a creamy sugar for desserts.
Do you know that coconut nectar is an extract from the young bud is reputed to have energetic powers? Believe me, too much of it can also make you high & woozy - just like toddy!




Stylo-mylo babe...He he he

We were all geared up for the uphill task to reach our destination – Red Earth = Tanah Merah. As red as the earth, our sweat shall be drenched with blood…but I wasn’t meant to be. Sensing the tough terrain, the organizers decided to take us thru shorter & less steep hills.

Already we had endless rolling ones all the way from Pasir Putih. Its kinda ok for the legs coz you get to rest a little while goin downhill but some bloke made a sprint up the hills & whatdayya expect huh? We made a dash & followed the leaders. No doubt we were maintaining the 28kph regime but sometimes. It just felt good to have some KOM sprints once in a while. Psyche you up a bit as it might get too monotonous at certain times.









We ended up stopping again for another much needed break. Bikes sandwiched into one another. Not even a camel on this parched landscape can tolerate the arid surface, but it produced such intriguing shots.


Hunched "Camels" on two wheels.


A small reflection of me is a big part of you.





You now know why I wore white today. With a dark reddish tan, spotted cumulus clouds & deep blue sky, we refueled with more eye popping melons & juices. Some even had time to skin a cow, probably for the BBQ tonite. Be patient boys, we aint carnivores.



Fresh meat anyone? Ah..I could sip the dripping blood...Take a number & wait till your turn comes please.


Otai's - Pak Hamid & A Rahim Anuar


View from the bridge.

Even then, sol didn’t give any leeway to us. She kept shining & a mirage of deep cool oasis was playing tricks to my squinting eyes. We were herded again for the last 20km or so. No frenzy & fancy ridin but just paced enuff to get everybody excited as we entered Tanah Merah.

040610 Malakoff Charity Ride - Beach

The last five days b4 the BIG ride was really traumatizing. Traumatized by the fact that I never had ridden beyond the 130km at one go. Worse, we’re starting off with a mind boggling 160km beach front! The thought of sea wind slapping my silky complexion terrified my hapless soul…

As the ride became closer, I kept questioning my own reflection in the mirror. “Mirror-mirror on the wall, Lets hope I’m strong enuff & not crawl…” I had to endure Great Balls with a lotta calls. Ridin 530km is an order tall.

It’s no laughing matter & I don’t wanna be the laughing stock as there gonna be ladies & oldies within the entire motley crew. The 3 days will test my endurance & put my insecurity to rest but before that, I gotta go thru the acid test, hope for the best with jest & hopefully put me up there - amongst the BEST!

Day 1 – Beach Day




Daoh, A Rahim Anuar, Bahari & your goodself

After much pomp & grandeur, we were released with sirens blaring escort which made such a ruckus & woke up the whole neighborhood.




Nizar, me & Doc RockCheetong

112 humans - With skin tight attires, bulging crotches, gaudy attires & glaring shiny sun shades, rolled on the tarmac across the plains, in unison for a common goal.

Every rider was ultra exited. Trilled by the fact that we were the kings of the road. Guzzlers were shoved aside, thanks to the outriders – the marshals who did an excellent job sweeping the vehicles to the road shoulders.

The first 50km was a breeze. It felt like nothing. We arrived in Kuala Besut with much gusto, not wanting to think about the next 110km. We all knew one thing, it aint gonna be pretty. We just went nuts Kuala Besut as cool coconuts quenched our coarse throats as the sun shone so bright, it could melt the tyres.

Pity Rashin. Apparenty he had a puncture & was left hi & lo without help. Being a tuff nut, he rode 50km alone & nearly got kidnapped by the local girls...


Mustaqim Kamel (Centre)




Azhar, Apai & Zafry Fauzi

Kampung Penarik seemed so far as the wind pounded my wheels. I wobbled & hid behind the peloton. The merciless heat was unforgiving too but the group pressed on. Ho yonder, the cloudless sky made some woozy & the sound of bike crashing confirmed my fears that some bloke had hit the tarmac. Whipped out the cam & plodded back to the melee. Some 10 odd riders had rammed into one another. Not all but one had to be rushed to the hospital. Chills ran down my spine. I prayed “Allah Almighty, keep us safe…”




A Rahim Anuar, Hj Rahim, Pak Berahim & AJ



Slightly after noon, we arrived in Masjid Kampong Penarik & stopped for lunch & the Friday prayers. Walloping 2 plates of rice, 10 ladies fingers & 3 pieces of chicken, I can’t help but go for a shower. Left my hair & body dripping with water & bewildered some onlooker. Strong sea breeze enticed me for a short nap but somehow the hard hitting sermon was not to be missed.




Pak Berahim

Someone said we’re starting half an hour earlier. I made a long sigh…Riding at 2:30 pm was a first for me as I’d normally be dosing-off by now during the usual weekends. Who would be loony enuff to ride at this time? Duh, I believe many were cursing the blaring heat during the last 30 km or so. It was damn bloody hot, over 40 degrees.

60km to Kuala Terengganu, I still felt ok. Even though we had passed the 100 km mark, I could still talk - laugh with the guys & shout at baffled bystanders. That’s a good sign…




The Malakoff wheelers


Yazid Maplay


Ol' skool Kelantanese rider, Zulhaimi & Daoh

Lucky us, 20 km to go, there was juicy melons threat waiting for us. My eyes ogling with delight! What a sight for sore eyes. I ended up mixing a concoction for Anuar Manan – Iced tea with some aphrodisiac to enhance his already tuff physique. I stuffed a mouthful of cakes & downed half a dozen glasses of isotonic fluid.


Azmang servin' Anuar Manang


Rashin, Daoh, me, A rahim Anuar, Pak Berahim & Yazid

Half an hour later we were off. Thank you pace car, for handing out water. Riders were passing the water bottle like passing the baton. We rolled onto the bridge across Pulau Duyong captured the tranquility of Masjid Kristal. We knew, the end was in sight.

But tragedy strikes twice. 3 km to go & someone looked at his water bottle & another crash occurred. This time my friend, Pak Berahim tumbled. Lucky for him, he escaped without a scratch. He was more concerned about his LOOK!

I just tell you the kind of funny feelin I had when I saw Sumai Apartment. Smiling ear to ear, I knew I’ll make it for the rest of the days. I dunno, I just knew it. After washing the pee of his bike, one loud local Italiano wanna be screamed with delight! We kinda made it louder.


The MAN


The TAN!

Some of us dipped our limbs into the pool as some digged deep into slumber.

300510 Disaster Strikes

What was supposed to be a long ride on the saddle to Port Dickson became a marathon nightmare on the toilet seat. By 7 am, I was dehydrated like the "Resurrection Fern" (Polypodium polypodioides) which looks dead most of the time, but springs back to life when remoisturised.
Well, I'm not like the plant which can survive extreme measures of water loss.

Resurrection Fern.
Not 2 b confused with Alien Resurrection

No amount isotonic drink can replace the important blood salts like potassium (K+) and sodium (Na+). Like a leaked water fountain, may body spurted fluids as if I'm a squid. I became an octopus out of water, unable to wiggle even the tiniest toe. I was squished, wringed to pulp. Without this much training, Malakoff 530 km might just be another dream... I hope not.

BBB to PD that fizzled out.


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