240410 Ridin d Surf with Mermaids

Pit Stop Island/Pulau Perhentian

When a friend invited me to tag along to Perhentian Island, I couldn't resist the temptation as an 'Escape' from the modern world. (Even though I had to drive like 4am in the morning). Lemme drive the first leg or u're gonna regret it. I did drive all right but after 2am my eyelids began to feel like Gates of steel. So cumbersome they are, I even had to prop them up with my fingers aka Mr. Bean.

Pulau Perhentian Kecil & Besar

A bottle of some root power tonic did help...for an hour - the most, besides the stiff side effect afterwards albeit the wrong timing. By the 61st minute drowsiness starts to kick in & nothing in this world can make me eyeball. My delusioned brain-mass started counting sheep pigs jumping across the moon & stars with the cows.
Half way down the 543km route thru Kuantan , my co-driver, tried massaging my stressed neck & shoulder muscles to no avail. Veering right nor left, the 4WD began to slow down...almost to a snail pace. We did stop a couple of times to put out some fires but our hoses were either too stubby or too short to reach the interior. The forest were too thick - leave it to the firefighters. Pity the parched flower bed. Not a single drop of rain in these part for almost a month. There were no ladies on board so no one would water the plants.

Finally after what it seems endless hours of monotonous line driving, finally destinantion arrived. Break of dawn prayers at Kuala Besut & off to the jetty for some morning Nasi Dagang & Wood Fish/"Ikan Tongkol/Kayu = Tuna.

Nasi Dagang recipe
Literally meaning "Trading Rice", this signature East Coast dish has become a well-known breakfast food of Peninsular Malaysia,made by steaming rice and glutinous rice together, to which is then added coconut cream once it is cooked. Tuna fish curry is the main gravy with extra condiments such as fried shaved coconut, hard-boiled eggs and vegetable pickles.

Ingredients (Enuff to serve 3-4 hantu raya)
4 cups of Nasi Dagang or fragrant long grain
1 1/2 cups (375 ml) thick coconut milk
1 1/2 cups (375 ml) thin coconut milk
10 shallots, sliced
2 cm ginger, cut into thin strips
5g fenugreek seeds
1 teaspoon salt

How to go about doing it.
Wash rice, drain it well and soak overnight in water. Next day, drain the water and steam the rice for half an hour. Remove from steam and stir in the thin coconut milk and re-steam for 15 minutes until the rice is almost cooked.
Mix the thick coconut milk with the ginger, fenugreek seeds and salt and then mix well into the cooked rice. Re-steam for another 15 minutes until the rice is completely cooked. Serve there & then.

The Wood Fish/Tuna curry
Ingredients (Enuff to serve 3-4 clueless clones)
2 medium sized Tuna (Max length 1 feet)
*too big it's gonna taste like a piece of plank
20 shallots, pounded or blended
3 cm turmeric, pounded once to get the aroma
2 cm galangal, pounded or blended
4 table spoons of grated & toasted coconut
2 bowls of coconut milk from 1 coconut
1 bulb of garlic
2 cm ginger, pounded once to get the aroma
20 pounded dried chilies
A bit of tamarind
Cooking oil
5 green chilies

How to go about doing it.
Clean up the Tuna & cut into desired slices. Sprinkle a little salt, tamarind.
Chuck everythin into a pot & get the fish to boil on a medium fire till the water is all dried up.
Simmer the oil & sauté the garlic, shallots, pounded dried chilies, turmeric, ginger, galangal (Lengkuas) & the thick coconut milk.
When it has come to a boil, submerge the Tuna, green chilies, salt & sugar with the grated & toasted coconut.
Serve when it’s thoroughly cooked.

Ohhhhhh... never tasted better with Kopi O/Black thick hot local coffee "Chap Hang Tuah" to perk you up. This kick-ass coffee will launch you like a pocket rocket. Two packets pliz makckik/aunty. Life wouldnt be perfect if you have only one. Two mounts of rice makes a perfect combination & the right "Balance". I give it a Bo Derek score of 1 - regarded as the most perfect of numbers.

Kuala Besut minaret during the golden hour/twilight

40 minutes that what it takes from Kuala Besut to the main Island with 400hp of power that pulverized the calm salty water. Skimming the waves & wobbling out of sinc, you get delirious - overwhelmed by the vast seas & deep abyss.

You'll start seeing things. You hallucinate... silky waving mane but her hidden shadows seems to disappear into the vast open... Well I believe, mermaids are actually manatees or dugongs. Conjured by the the spirits of the seas, searching for lost souls who long for the mystique.

Manatees are large, fully aquatic, mostly herbivorous marine mammals sometimes known as sea cows. Bcoz of their friendly nature, men confused them with mermaids.

Pulau Perhentian is located in the South China Sea 19 km/10 nautical miles from the coast of Kuala Besut. It consists of two islands, Pulau Perhentian Besar and Pulau Perhentian Kecil. Both islands are surrounded by beautiful palm-fringed sandy beaches andcrystal-clear turquoise-blue sea.

How they got their names.

The two main islands are Perhentian Besar /"Big Perhentian" and Perhentian Kecil /"Small Perhentian". The small, uninhabited islands of Susu Dara/Virgin Milk, Serenggeh and Rawa lie off Kecil. The Perhentians belong to Pulau Redang National Marine Park, which means that fishing, collecting coral and littering are strictly prohibited. Like Besut, people here generally speak Kelantanese Malay dialect.
Why? A few generations back, Besut was part of the Kelantan state. The name "Perhentian" means "Stopping point" in Malay, referring to their longstanding role as a pit-stop/way-point for traders during the turn of the century & have been sparsely inhabited by fishermen for centuries. The Perhentian Islands appear on many maps of the nineteenth and twentieth century as 'The Station Islands'.

Aha, do you know that Virgin's milk is used to cure Pink/Red Eye infection / Conjunctivitis? "When you have goopy eyes, followed by redness & mucous; Virgin breast milk expressed directly on the eye area immediately dissolves the mucous painlessly. Rather than using a warm wet cloth (as recommended by many). This is a well-known cure for eye infections, whether its pink eye or the clogged tear ducts so common in humans. "Breast milk is anti-fungal and anti-bacterial. I followed an old folk remedy and it worked beautifully!" This is truly a natural cure.

Ingredients
1 or a pair of breast
A bowl of warm water (Wash them up thoroughly)
Pat to dry

How you go about doing it.
Have your eyes wide open - with a glee
Ask your partner or you to squeeze/squirt a few drops of her milk directly into his/her eyeballs.
Blink a hundred times.
Do it a frequently within the 24-hour period and the results will be truly amazing.
I bet its pain free and red eye free for over a year.

Oh here comes a stingray, there goes a manta ray. In walked a jelly fish. There goes a dogfish, chased by a catfish.
Plodded along the beach hoping to catch a glimpse of the two ABBA looking dames who hitched the same boat with up but to no avail. Instead I came across lots of narwhals and bikini whales. Tanning on the white sand in the glarin sun, darkened from the usual pale.
One thing I noticed when we were at the beach. Everybody had matching towels. Then somebody went under a dock. And there they saw a rock. It wasn't a rock. Looks like a croc covered by a frock. It was a rock...lobster.

100 meters to the beach, the boat stopped & we're forced to hop on a small sampan that charges us 2 ringgit per bloke to ferry us to the white sands of Long Beach. There you have a newly build jetty splitting the waves & these buggers tell you that the water is too shallow to dock? I'm no cheapskate but fleecing tourist in broad daylight is uncalled for.Another paradise going to the dumps.

To add salt to the wound, this place is hounded with cut-throat entrepreneurs. Bowelless readiness to take advantage of harmless poor souls like us. A plate of fried rice would come to a hefty 16 ringgit with a glass of tea. The so called chief waiter needs a bath & some lesson in manners. This place needs some sprucing up too. Run-down-semi-haunted chalets, creepers clinging to the balconies, unswept leaves & rubbish strewn all over the place. Not to mention the "Everlasting" plastic materials.

Threading on plastic, the bartender had an overblown chest & manly nip**es ready to pierce your eyes. Oh yeah, this fella was happily bouncing his artificial over-blown assets, as if we care. Runnin away from civilization & you encounter with "Unnatural things", leaves a bad lingering taste in your already bitter tongue. Duh...
Bad enuff? I regret wearin the bike tights. Unlucky me, this place acts as a pod for the transgenders aka "Sotong" - Lost souls in limbo. I mean, I don’t really care what their preference are but you'll never get this kind of treatment like I had in The Land of Make Believe.
I dunno about the others but if you ever go Long Beach, Perhentian Island don’t ever go to this so called paradise corner - Moonlight Chalet & Cafe. Looks, first impression & recommendation by the tour agency was seemingly-beaming with incomparable beauty was a BIG MAJOR let down. Clean water is only available every other day. Can’t even get a decent bath, let alone a proper tooth brushing. Shampoo? You must be kidding!!! And yet the proprietor had the cheek to ask me to come back again.
I'd never - EVER! Shame on you, you bloody moron - your place is a mess.

Went wading late in the evening & caught a glimpse of two imported mermaids submerged by the corals. The fishes in the ever-clear water were dodging playfully among the seaweeds, scavenging the remnants of biscuits strewn by eager yuppies.



I then took charge of the stern & skimmed the waves. Manoeuvering a boat is not like driving a car with a slight difference. Even it may look the same; you gotta like turn it half way round the globe before you get the rudder to turn left or right. There’s no red, yellow or green light to guide you as long as you follow your six senses & hope for the best not run aground.

After some provisions of burgers, fried rice & nice cool soda in Perhentian Besar tiny island town, I ventured within the fridge of the kampong & chatted with an old lady who was born in Redang Island which is about 20.5 nautical miles away & met his late husband in Perhantian.This quaint town in the middle of the ocean offers cheap, clean food & accommodation. No fancy restaurants, nice humble-simple local folks making a living. Food costs the same here like the 2 ringgit burger. Could even fry on your own - they'll obliged with a smile. I would take my family here.

Old man of the sea

We were then taken to the middle of the ocean & hours were spent lying on the upper deck, lazing & gazing the darkness of the evening, watching the clouds go by - waiting for the sun to go down on the Milky Way. The disappearance of the sun below the horizon engulfed my conscience. I felt eerie & somber...It was a priceless encounter.

We were rolled by the sea, churned upside down as we fish for "Sotong"/squids - I've had too much to chew of "Sotong" for the day. Bobbling up & down made my nauseous & choose to lie on the upper deck & gaze the empty parallel universe.

Fried squid with brown sugar & soy sauce

Early the next morning we were awakened by crows banter. Where's the droning sound of hum from the diesel motorboat engine? It got stalled as we docked by Perhentin Kecil Island & marooned us for 3 hours. The rough seas wouldn't about to let up & we're caught off-guard without food. Finally the skies shone bright again. Far beyond the horizon, small speedy boats came to our rescue & took us back to civilization.

Trekking across the island from Long Beach to Coral Beach took 20 minutes through some light undergrowth. 2 years from now, I bet this place gonna be swarmed with too many humanoids & wreck this heaven. Makes me wonder who gave these landowners the right to encroach the jungle like nobody's business.
Since the tidal were huge in Long Beach, there's no way that any motor powered dingy would ferry us back to Kuala Besut. With infants shrills & loads of frustrations, we squeezed through sweaty armpits & clamored to our waiting boat.

Saw a croc with a frock under the dock

Rumbling skies made the journey back treacherous & made worse by the "Couldn't care less" attitude of the young looking lad who tried hard to look like a seasoned seaman. I could have smacked his toothless sneer but as a "foreigner", I could be thrown overboard.


Rumbling seas & the seasoned sea-man

Fresh cool "Land water" never felt better. After all the salted attire it was a relief to be on safe land, I mean four wheels. Rolled on towards Kelulut Beach which is the gateway to Kapas & Gemia Island, another paradise.

Oh... so droopy eyed & most demure

These tired eyes were suddenly affixed to this dame on two feet. Waving us with such beauty - We parted our ringgit & sens (senses too). She hypnotized us with her lovely flawless features that melted our souls, which seduced & altered our state of consciousness into buying 4 packets of "Keropok"/local crackers.

Keropok = fish / prawn / dried & fried crackers.
Not to be confused with cream or firecrackers.


Keropok Lekor - Tail-like crackers. Boiled, soft & uncut

By late evening we filled our tummy with some stuffed crabs in Maran. Couldn't stomach anymore as the fried "Keropok lekor"/Tail-like crackers have expended.

In all. It's a time well spent even though we had to work the following day. It was definitely a short pit-stop but it's not gonna stop me from stoppin by again.

I shall savior the moments I had, underneath the waves - with the mermaids...

Ridin d waves with Swedish mermaids

Mermaids calls are hard to resist...

10 - Derives from a rating system used by people to rank members of the opposite sex based upon beauty, with a 10 being the epitome of attractiveness.
Bowelless - Ruthless in competition; "cutthroat competition"
Sotong - Squid or queer, tranny, transgender, transvestite or Pondan, Ponen, Bapok, Daghai (Nothern slang)
Nasi Dagang - Literally meaning "Trading Rice", this signature East Coast dish has become a well-known breakfast food of Peninsular Malaysia, made by steaming rice, fenugreek seeds and glutinous rice together, to which is then added coconut cream once it is cooked. Tuna fish curry is the main gravy with extra condiments such as fried shaved coconut, hard-boiled eggs and vegetable pickles.
Tongkol - A piece of wood hence Ikan Tongkol/Wood like fish.
Keropok - Crackers. They are made by mixing prawns/fish/squids/seafood or from exotic fruits like Belinjau (Gnetum Gnemon), bananas, jackfruit & tapioca flour and of course water. The mixture is rolled out, steamed, sliced and sun dried. Once dry, they are deep-fried in oil (which must be at high heat before cooking). In only a few seconds they expand from thumb-sized translucent chips to white fluffy crackers.
Lekor - Spiral, like a mosquito coil/Similar to a coiled ropes or a spring
Keropok Lekor - Uncut crackers/Tail-like crackers. Kept in spiral. Keropok are deep fried crackers made from starch and other ingredients that usually give the taste. Keropok Lekok is also prepared from fish meat grounded with sago and salt; these are then rolled and made into the shape of long tubes similar to sausages/dildos/phallic in appearance. They are then boiled or fried & dipped in chilly sauce.

190410 Spoinking Port Dickson

Wet & dirty, it soiled our polished "Wheelies".

John John - This 31-year-old with the diesel physique pushed & pulled me tirelessly on a gritty stretch from Sepang up Deer Hill/Bukit Pelandok, dotted with piglets running around uncontrollably across the plains. Nah...I'm pullin your leg, can't find a single "Babe". Apparently all of them had been shipped to the destination unknown since the outbreak of swine-flu = H1N1.

Swine influenza (also called swine flu, hog flu, or pig flu) is an infection by any one of several types of swine influenza virus. If transmission does cause human influenza, it is called zoonotic swine flu. A person who mingles around "Kerbau Katik"/Midget Buffalos increased risk of swine flu infection. This infectious influenza produces fever, lethargy, sneezing, coughing, difficulty breathing and decreased appetite. In some cases the infection can cause abortion. Yeah...scores of people died during the Nipah virus outbreak in 1999. Send chills down my spine...

Electron microscope image of the re-assorted H1N1 influenza virus

I thought of venturing thru Bukit Pelandok (U think I gila ka? Pass by should be good enuff lah) & use the coastal route N9/N159 Jalan Kuala Lukut but there are no bridge or ferry available to cross Sungai Lukut. What a shame.

D' shortcut that never was

Take a "Ferry across the Mersey" & "Don't pay the ferryman"

I wasn't expecting this huge ferry, at least a "Penambang" would do.

To keep cancer at bay, JJ applied some diaper rash cream to his charred lips & pointed nose. A baby's bottom is soft but a 31 yr old has thick rough skin like a komodo lizard. Zinc or no zinc oxide, has no effect what so ever. He has no choice. Either apply bum cream or get frostbite from the sun. Can we get frostbite from over-exposure to the sun? Nah, it's just my way of expressing the seriousness of sun burn. You can only get frostbite if you stuffed your parts too long in ice. Then it'll get stiff!

Strike 4 D, big or small

An ardent follower





Cam whored for a while & watched the boats go by.

Wish I could go on a long-long trip. Around the world and back & won't have to move. You just sit still. Let your mind do the walking. I'll take you to the highest mountain. To the depths of the deepest sea & we won't need a map, believe me. Let me show you the World In My Eyes -DM

They don't make bike jerseys here

JJ, I & my twin

Picture perfect, modern & dated...

We just rode as we like. No pressure - no issues...UNTIL 3 km from the rest stop my stomach felt queasy. That unsettling feeling in the pit of your gut which makes you feel woozy & worried. The cocktail of 100 plus, Coke, H20 & mushroom soup added more misery. Blame it on the cockles & chili paste I had a day earlier - lesson learned.

4 km from PD we had to do emergency stop by the petrol station. The volcano was about to erupt & some banking had to be done. Thought that I have flushed away my woes, I was dead wrong. The belly rolled & made funny noises. Lukut stretch was bearable but the slight climb up Bukit Pelandok was nerve wreaking. Had to spin lightly on low gears. Heavy gearing strained the belly & groin. Damn, I could only do a 20kph!

A cure for stomach acne.

An old friend, Cikgu Khairul from Ipoh gave some tips to ease the pain. His grandmother's potion.

Ingredients (Enuff to serve a clone)
3 young Ciku shoots

2 Buds (If available)

1 Sprouting fruit (Small like a match-head, if available)

How to go about doing it:

Take some shoots of the Ciku plant (Manilkara Achras). Buds & tiny sprouting fruits (Small like a match-head). Wash thoroughly & put them to a boil with a cup of plain water. Mind the mild sap, it's not gonna kill you. Boil the materials for about 10 minutes till the concoction turns greenish. Let it cool & when it's slightly warm & drinkable - drink it. God willing - the ache will subside & you'll be ready to pound the tarmac.

Ciku plant, buds, fruits & yummies

Ciku, is a native of Central America, Mexico and the West Indies, Also known as sapodilla, belongs to the family Sapotaceae. Various species of Manilkara are grown and used worldwide for different purposes. The species most popular in Malaysia is the Manilkara zapota. This was also called Manilkara achras, Achras zapota or Nispero achras, a derivative of the Greek word achras for the Pear tree, because of the fruit's resemblance to a pear. Hmmmmm...
3 main varieties of Ciku fruits in Malaysia: Betawi, Subang & Jantung. It is known as chikoo or sapota in India, sofeda in Bangladesh, chikoo (also spelled "chikku," "chiku," or "ciku") in South Asia and Pakistan, chico in the Philippines, sawo in Indonesia, ciku in Malaysia, sapodilla or rata-mi in Sri Lanka, lamoot in Thailand and Cambodia, níspero in Venezuela, dilly in the Bahamas, naseberry in the rest of the West Indies, sapoti in Brazil, and sapote in Nicaragua. In Jamaica, its called naseberry.
The flesh of the fine textured fruit has a deep-brownish hue. Looks like a brown egg, sweet brown flesh inside.Distinctively sweet making it especially suitable as dressing for dessert. Nutritionally, Ciku fruit contains high vitamin and mineral contents. Ciku looks similar to a kiwi fruit except it has rusty skin. The fruit is yellowish to pinkish brown in colour when it is ripe. The shape is oblong or round depends on species. Mmmmmm....I like mine slightly curved.A well grown ciku can be in a size of 5 to 10cm long. Unripe fruit has milky sap.

Song - CIKU TREE

(Sing to the tune of Lemon Tree)

When I was just a lad of ten, my father said to me,

"Come here and take a lesson from the lovely ciku tree."
"Don't put your faith in love, my boy", my father said to me,
"I fear you'll find that love is like the lovely ciku tree."

Ciku tree very pretty and the ciku fruit is sweet
But the leaves of the poor ciku is impossible to eat. (2X)

One day beneath the ciku tree, my love and I did lie

A girl so sweet that when she smiled the stars rose in the sky.

We passed that summer lost in love beneath the ciku tree

The music of her laughter hid my father's words from me:

Ciku tree very pretty and the ciku fruit is sweet

But the leaves of the poor ciku is impossible to eat. (2X)

One day she left without a word. She took away the sun.

And in the dark she left behind, I knew what she had done.

She'd left me for another, it's a common tale but true.

A sadder man but wiser now I sing these words to you:

Ciku tree very pretty and the ciku fruit is sweet
But the leaves of the poor ciku is impossible to eat. (2X)

The Sheep-Pig - A novel by British author Dick King-Smith where he spent twenty years as a farmer. The book won the Guardian Children's Fiction Award in 1984. It took film producer and co-writer George Miller ten years to take the book from paperback to big screen.

Babe - A 1995 family film that tells the story of a pig who wants to be a sheep dog & later went to a city. (A sequel, Pig in the city). Due to its title and subject matter not being "Halal", the film was initially banned in Malaysia, although the ruling was overturned almost a year later and the film was released direct-to-VHS. It was later released on Video CD and even later on DVD, and as of 2009, has aired on Terrestrial TV and pay-per-view movie channels. Such a cute animal in the movie & it contains a wonderful object lesson on leadership. Among the best that I have seen.

Unfortunately I can't cuddle them let alone eat it but me & my kids love Babe.

Pokémons, famous Pikachu & Spoink!

I remember some bloke wrote in a local paper to get the cartoon banned coz he confused himself. Pork in some slang is pronounced as "Poke". Silly fella...
This term should also not be confused with the real world definition of species, since it has nothing to do with it. Pokémon are able to breed and produce fertile offspring; in fact, breeding among Pokémon can easily occur between species since it is controlled by egg groups. Whereas pigs are mammals which deliver their offspring. But if you still insist on having a pig like Pokémon - Spoink is your pet. This cuddly thing is a psychic, gray-colored, pig like Pokémon with dark, circular eyes, stubby arms, a large gray nose, and small ears.

More Pokémons

In 2001, Pokémon fatwa that started in Saudi was supported by U.A.E. scholars and condoned by the Mexican Catholic Church as work of Satan. They banned the game of Pokemon as a Zionist plot; Qaradawi issued a fatwa endorsing this in December 2003, saying that Pokemon not only uses Jewish and Masonic symbols, but teaches evolution. Not only do Pokemon evolve, they do so "In battles where the survivors are those who adapt better to the environment; another of Darwin's dogmas." In addition, both depiction of imaginary animals and card-games are contrary to the Koran. Qaradawi also notes that some Japanese expressions squeaked and gibbered by Pokemon may mean "I am a Jew" and "Become a Jew," but admits the matter is controversial and he isn't certain.

Muslims are forbidden by God to eat the meat of the pig (pork).
This is detailed in verses 2:173, 5:3, 6:145, and 16:115 of the Qur'an. An exemplary verse is quoted here: "He has only forbidden you dead meat, and blood, and the flesh of swine, and any (food) over which the name of other than Allah has been invoked. But if one is forced by necessity, without willful disobedience, nor transgressing due limits, then Allah is Oft-Forgiving, Most Merciful."

Kindness to animals

Every creature was created by Allah for a purpose. The Prophet always encouraged being kind to animals. Although we should not eat the meat of the pig, it doesn't mean that we should hate pigs. We should show them the same kindness as any other animal, and not abuse or torture them. Pigs score high on tests devised to determine animal intelligence; in other words, they are very smart.

After all those tummy troubles, we got home safely all right but had to stop twice to wet our dry throats. I'm glad I survived the distance. That's the main thing. This aint Oz.

I leave you with a pantun...njoi

Kayuh ke Nilai sehari suntuk,
Singgah sebentar di Bukit Pelandok,
Borong karpet penuh berhabok,
Punya la lotih sampai ngantok,

Tapi masa amatlah suntok,
U kata nak nak buat daging kerutuk?
Kau tak tahu kang aku tunjok,
Google kan ada bole kau rujuk,

Freshpun ada juga yang jeruk,
Manis berlemak makan sure berkeruk,
Lebih-lebih kang terus mabuk!

Translation:

Cycled to Nilai the whole day,

Dropped by Deer Hill a short trip away,

Bought all the dusty carpets

& made me extremely tired

Felt sleepy but time is so short

U said u "Wanna get spicy!" & serve meat

If u dunno I could show you how to heat

You can also refer from Google

Fresh & pickled are also available

Sweet & full of fat you'll definately frown

Too much can make you drunk & drown!

Kerbau Katik/Kerbau Pendek/Midget Buffalo = Pig

Penambang = A sampan big enough to ferry humanoids, sun baked imported produce, animals & road bikes

Potion (from latin potionis, meaning beverage, potion, poison) is a consumable medicine or poison. = Traditional, folk & indigenous medicine.

*Definition of traditional medicine = "The health practices, approaches, knowledge and beliefs incorporating plant, animal and mineral-based medicines, spiritual therapies, manual techniques and exercises, applied singularly or in combination to treat, diagnose and prevent illnesses or maintain well-being."

*Indemnity clause - The author shall not be made responsible for your health, that could result in death or permanent disabilities for the consumption of the concoction, remedies, potions & recipes detailed in this blog.

Route: Bandar Baru Bangi - Port Dickson

Google map

110410 Hunchback of Notre Dame

110410 Bandar Baru Bangi - Genting Peras (Perez)

I wasn’t perturbed of the last ride in Lenggeng. Even though some of us nearly "Bonked" towards the last quarter of the ride, we had to move on. No point crying over spilled milk. One BIG lesson learned. Dontcha mess around with the "Lady boys". They'll drain your stamina dry...

Bonk - The term "bonk" for cycling fatigue is presumably derived from the original meaning "to hit". In endurance sports, particularly cycling and running, hitting the wall or the bonk describes a condition caused by the depletion of glycogen stores in the liver and muscles, which manifests itself by precipitous fatigue and loss of energy. It's actually a bodily form of sedition.
In some form or another, it becomes a collapse of the entire system: body and form, brains, spirit and soul. If you bonked thoroughly enough, how you began to see beings that belong in Dr. Jekyll & Mr. Hyde, demons from another realm going in a trance from lactic acid build-up.
Aha, you remember how your strength held until you hit 140 km and your feet turned into jellyfish. After about 150km, I began hallucinate minute orange "Toyols" jerking up and down the alloy wheels.

Holotropic breath-work is a great technique for accessing inner experience which could lead to altered states of consciousness & images. But if you "Konk"/trip yourself out, you can unleash some pretty powerful unconscious material & you should be psychologically and emotionally prepared for it. You're a wacko if you want to induce hallucination on yourself because any means of doing it is likely to be detrimental to your health. Hallucinating is not your brain's normal function, so inducing your brain to hallucinate involves causing it to malfunction.
I thought of hallucinating for my own sake but it felt odd...

By sun-break, I had already gulped down a mug of cocoa & cereal. Only after 70km mark we will stop & refuel our empty belly. Choking fumes filled the air as guzzlers lined up in chains all the way in Jalan Sungai Lalang. I see, many were still offering the lost spirits. They're still seen wandering around hungrily in limbo, as the gates of hell are yet to close.

Normally I'd get stressed by the sight of the Semenyih Dam but I just smiled at her & composed myself. Most of the others took-off & left me, Fhami & Bokat behind. As my momentum was slightly faster (Coz I'm light!) I waited-up at the peak & caught their gestures of triumph on film, uh... I mean digitally. Rolling looooong hills deprived us from beating up the incline too much. By the time I rolled down on the back end of the dam, Bokat & Fahmi trailed behind not so far away in the distance.



An "Orang Asli"/indigenous boy was so engrossed catapulting some birds & the pebble missed me by mere inches. How can he not see this "South African" gaudy lookin ol' man in tights? He just smiled shyly & continued playing with his green friendly toys. What a carefree life, I'm so jealous.


D "South African" Cape Malay rider

Here in the urban concrete jungle, we slog days & endless nites to put bread on the table. Why can't we just slow down a little bit & enjoy the "Real" life? Work never ends - life WILL end. I do not want to end up like a walking zombie all my life. To be waken up later to attend my own funeral.
At the end of the day, what are we really chasin after? Does it add more value in our life? What value do we have when we can't even free ourselves form the brunt of this current demanding civilization? How I wish sometimes we never ever evolved into modern man. Life was much2 simpler those days.
I felt regret for not being born a hundred years ago.



It's a first for Bokat, ridin this distance. Though he did suffer a bit at the Semenyih Dam & Perez climb. Overall he did pretty well. Smiling ear to ear & sniggering like a hyena. I know how it feels bro. The sense of accomplishment. Hey dude, we've got another 50% to go. So don't smile too much. I & Rizal paced each other till the top of Perez even though my right "Anak anjing"/calf was feeling a bit stretched, hope it can last the journey.




Rays of Light

Najib chucked these away as the heat got the better of him.

At the usual congregation area, we met up with Bob Saiful, his two friends Loke & Zim, which they obliged later with a conquering shot of the Selangor & N9 border. A peeping tom was spotted lurking behind the scene. Apparently it escaped from Akma's Costume Zoo. No wonder I could hear ruffling sounds within the Imperata Cylindrica.


Me, Bokat, Najib, Loke, Fahmi, Wak Jali, Rizal, my twin, Bob, John John & Zam.

The rest zoomed passed me. I'm not as young & a thrill seeker as used to be - let the wind flow over my head & roll down gently. Don't wanna get skinned by the tarmac. It was pretty easy from Perez to Tekala but by now, the belly had started to growl. We had burgers, coconut water, bottles of isotonic fluid to clench our thirst & drench our dry gear.


Beggars banquet

I had morphed/evolved into the Hunchback of Notre Dame @ Iceback of Not so Dame. Stuffed some ice atop my shoulders to subside the burning sensation & stiffness coz I made a silly a mistake rubbing Deep Heat to sweaty pores. The result was stinging unbearable pain!


The Hunchback of Notre Dame @ The Iceback of Not so Dame

On top of that, we doused ourselves with a chemical substance that is composed of hydrogen and oxygen = Water! It's vital for the survival of all known forms of life - Especially weekend warriors like us...

Ciao raggazi!

Bandar Baru Bangi - Perez

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Bonked - Hitting something hard, to strike or cause to come into contact: She bonked her head going through the low doorway
Bonking - Creating more humanoids/Gettin physical with your partner/To make luv: Shagging
Konk - Kong/Knock out/Dead/Mati/Sih, sounds like the word "Death," = No. 4
Green friendly toys - Made from Wood or something natural. Not from plastic which will never decompose nor recyclable even after a thousand years.
Toyol - A small mischievous child spirit who steals. Has a big head, small hands, clouded eyes and usually grey skin. More accurately, it resembles a goblin.
Holotropic means "Moving toward wholeness" (from the Greek "holos" = whole and "trepein" = moving in the direction of something).

040410 Die & Let Die

Unikeb - Lenggeng N9

040410 - Number 4 (sih) in some Chinese dialects sounds like the word "death,". Sum of 5 + 5, the number 10 represents the two opposite current directions of the conscience: involution & evolution.



Hence - 10 represents the first couple, the marriage: 1 = the man, 0 the egg fertilized by the 1.

The number ten is regarded as the most perfect of numbers, because it contains the Unit that did it all, and the zero, symbol of the matter and the Chaos, of which all came out; it then includes in its figure the created and the non-created, the beginning and the end, the power and the force, the life and the nothing. Regardless of the auspicious date, nothin gonna stop us from ridin.

With dark gray Nimbostratus clouds hovering over the palm trees in Broga, we really thought we were safe. The "Wet" looking cloudy layer associated with continuously falling rain made me go "Ah...the weather was gonna be kind". We're in for a BIG disappointment.



4 years back, we got caught in a massive find traffic jam and chaotic mess along Jalan Sungai Lalang - the road that leads to Sungai Tekala & Perez (Genting Peras). Blinking red tail lights & bumper to bumper crawl - it drizzled sporadically & soiled my spanking new jersey.

Beautiful shades

Last year Zharin SIDI's sole came off, endless punctures... Some unseen entities, I believe - were messin with our equipment.


my Hatu Raya, Azam, Syarul Hulk, me,
Mr Won, Rizal, Cikgu Hisham, Bokat & my twin.




Say hello, wave goodbye - Soft Cell

No tech problems this time but the nite before the ride, I was hallucinating without acid - I'm seeing things...hmmm... Ghost Whispering "oooooohhhhhh Jennifer....." that perked me up quite a bit.



Half way thru the ride, most of us nearly bonked. Our back felt heavy, legs felt weak. Feelin weary, we cut short the route & abandoned the Mendom Hill climb. Probably "someone" or "something" had hitched a ride on our bikes....eeeeeeeeeee....

Can you find Casper? Click pix for larger image.

That's what you get if you ride on Qing Ming or Tomb Sweeping Day. (Remembering the dead) All souls day? No, sounds similar but its different.

Once a year, during Qing Ming, the Chinese visit their family graves to tend to any underbrush and weeds that has grown out of hand around the cemetery. Weeds are pulled, dirt swept away and joss sticks, green bean biscuits (food), hell money, fruits, grub, flowers and Chinese tea as well as a paper box containing clothing are offered to the departed.
"Hell money" or "paper money" in the belief that the dead needs to spend money in their afterlife as well. Some would also shave off the skin of a pineapple and offered the fruit to the deceased with the hope that "Ong" (Prosperity) would come to the family and descendants. It is believed that the souls of the departed are allowed a grace period to leave the underworld and enter this worldly realm to accept offerings from their living relatives.

In ancient times, Qing Ming was a holiday celebrated with dancing & singing - no karaOK pliz. The ritual is akin to a picnic as relatives from far and wide gathered for this annual event and feasted on the offerings at the graveside but nowadays, many families prefer to take offerings home to eat. It has evolved into a time of quiet solitude to honour the departed. It is also a time for families to bond.

The concept of filial piety to one's ancestors is a very important concept in the Chinese culture. The Chinese believe that to be buried at one's hometown will mean that the spirit will rest well and in turn, bless the living family will continue to prosper through good harvests and more children from the ancestor's blessing. On the burial tablet or the ash holder, the hometown and birthplace is always inscribed in addition to the deceased name and date of birth and death, so that the spirit can find their way home.

Waking & walking the dead

Not so far away but just at a corner of the Malay Archipelago, the Toradja people of the mountains of Celebes island in Indonesia has the ability to walk the dead. If someone dies in Toradja, the deceased will be hypnotized so it will be able to walk back home o be present at his own funeral. Hence, will not trouble the living as the mountainous & isolated terrain makes transporting the corpse difficult. In Toradja, a person is not considered dead until this last ceremony and the soul is released to the heavens.
Even with the availability of good roads that connects the villages of Tana Toradja, the ability to bring the dead back to life has not been entirely forgotten, however. According to them, the spirit of a dead person must return to his village of origin. It is essential that he meet with his relatives, so that they can guide him on his journey into the after-life. If someone died beyond his/her village, without a strong magical power, it would be necessary to procure the services of a chaperone, to guide the dead person back to the village.
The corpse would walk stiffly, without expression - in a robotic manner. (Remember MJ doin the zombie Thriller dance?) It would fall down senseless, If anyone addresses the dead thing directly, stop short of it's journey. So, those accompanying the deceased on the macabre procession had to warn people they met on their path not to talk directly to the dead man. Sometimes, even now, the deceased is made to continue breathing and seems alive until all his relatives are gathered around him.

If you're a Malay bloke with that kind of super-duper-power, I'd say you're a Hantu Raya buddy.

Thats kind of far fetched eh? I heard similar stories from Borneo. Customary to the "Ulu" folks from the interior. After weeks of being buried, the dead would be called back to visit siblings or parents who long for them. A shaman (not like the one on a bus in Phuket) would summon this "Being". As they enter their former homes dressed in grave-clothes, remnants of mud & sand from the graveyard would been seen along the path - of the so called body who woke up & "Walked" to see their family...
To delay it, beads such as pearls or beans will be presented as play-things, but the corpse needs to get back to it's grave before sun-break.

Malaysian Muslims on the other hand, usually visit the graves of their dead in the wee hours of the first `Eid day or the evening before. "I must come here every year to remember my forefathers and recite some verses from the Qur'aan," Arief Zain, a young boy, said as he laid some flowers on the grave of his great grandmother in the Sg. Pinang cemetery. Read the story here.

During my teenage days, we would gather a group during the school break & go camping by the seaside for a week, at least (The luxury of Penang). Usually there would be a stream nearby, for us to survive. Incidentally right across the road lay a huge cemetery atop the hills, facing the sea - for good Feng Shui.
It was my turn to go get some TIT-bits & groceries for the night & with another friend when we stumbled upon droves of people leaving the cemetery after tending to the graves.

Where there are graves, there will be fruits I'd say. Why the trouble going all the way to "Tanjung"/town where you can get it for free here. Without fear, we just helped ourselves as if it's our grandfather’s farm.

Not knowing that we took the fruits from the deceased, they wallop the grub without much thought. (How to even think or even worry when almost of them were in a sorry state - drunk). One fella did ask us albeit being stoned “How come so fast ah, go & come back from town - you Lap/Rempit/Speed ah?”.
I just blurted "What you know?! You hantam 6 bottles of "Bulldog"/Stout - shattup la, why u sibuk - I go & buy susah-susah u lalok & sleep only..."

Either the spirits has got into them or they're simply out of their minds - After the feeding, they’re one big happy soul - blurry & free.
I was awoken by a huge commotion at the break of dawn. One of the boys stumbled across some pieces of red paper with Chinese characters stuck by the fruits remnants. My six senses told me to keep low & together with the other guy, slid away from the tent & hid behind some rocks, sniggering. We quickly sped off when the coast was truly clear & laughed hysterically at their folly.
Not until much-much later in the afternoon that we felt really safe, gathered our guts - to return & face the clan.

Why I don't fear the graveyard.

My primary school was located right in front of an Indian Cemetery whereas my secondary school was facing the biggest Chinese Cemetery in Penang. Jalan Batu Lanchang, any Penangnite would know. Being curious kids, we'd go see almost all the cremation & lowering of the casket ceremony. For a boy scout like me, Saturday is all about spending the mornings scavenging the hills. We would do a game like finding treasures (Similar to orienteering) & of all the places we'd do it, we'll go for the cemetery as it's vast, empty & no one would bother us, especially when we're in our scout's uniforms. A BIG passport for doing mischief or A license to be naughty!

We would use stick, twigs, stones & if we're lucky - bones of the dead as directional signs! Massages & clues would then be hidden within the gravestones cracks or around the graveyard. A compass will sometimes point at a certain degree to the late MR. so & so. He/She (The dead) would also be some help in determining the winner. Even though he/she is lying in state, their help is crucial!

I was there in Jalan Batu Lanchang - for 9 years since Std. 1.
La Salle School, yes La Salle what a sad case. The original school in Jalan Sekolah La Salle in Air Itam was in a bad shape. Cracks appeared & we had to abandon ship - abandon school I mean.
So...all the king's horses & the king's men, couldn't put Humpty together again. In this particular case - All the Governor's architects & the engineers fail to repair it ever again... Pity Humpty Dumpty.
For 9 years we had to endure afternoon school at the mercy of the original inmates. We would be tormented by the boys & girls. Harsh words like "So poor, can't even have own school/Tompang sekolah saya tak malu/Shame you, squatting in my school". There would be fights every other week with the rowdies from SRK Batu Lanchang & SMK Georgetown. "Hey you! Don't play-play ah, we're ruffians too" as we La Sallians would finger-point back.

I played the drums during my Xaverian days & made some dough accompanying hearses. We would play an extremely slow beat (Dead slow), a hymn or sacred song until the casket is secured on the hearse or when it's lowered into the grave. Remembered vividly being scolded & eyeballed for uplifting the tempo for "When the Saints Go Marching" song at the saddest-crucial point.
What do you expect? As a Xaverian drummer, every Monday during assembly we would drum-it-up (The song) to a rousing applause!

Caught in the act...

About time I watch the "Evil Dead" cult movie.

"Live & Let Die" means to live your life in lavish while the others struggle and die. This phrase is a spin off of the phrase "Live & Let Live" which means you live in peace and others may do the same with your blessings. "Die & Let Die" on the other hand, is the opposite of both...forever be dead or forever in death.

*SIDI - Cycling shoe brand, Latin - Starlike, A very good person in Arabic (Someone who is knowledable, talented, respected and looked up to).
*Orienteering - Sports that requires navigational skills using a map and compass to navigate from point to point in diverse and usually unfamiliar terrain. Participants are given a map, usually a specially prepared orienteering map, which they use to find control points. Originally a training exercise in land navigation for military officers, Orienteering has developed many variations. Among these, the oldest and the most popular is foot orienteering.
*Dough - Money/RM/Duit/Ongkos/Uang/Lui/$.
*Grub - Food.

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