Wednesday, December 17, 2008

X-plorace 131208, Seven kilos of hell...

Oh, what a damn mistake...
I shouldn't be telling everyone about my weekend escapades.
They might think that I’m “super fit”, well I’m not. Fatnawati at 10:06am December 15 said, “eleh...abg man kan powerman...” Powerman my foot, I’m no runner nor trekker. Now I'm forced to do it.

If running & trekking for 7km isn’t enough, try another 7km the next day holding a 2 kilo camera.
The last time I ran in a competition was “CIOCC/ donkey” eons ago. That was during the dinosaur ages where I could run 15 km & bike another 60km. That was then but this is now. At 40+, age takes its toll, but the youthful feels 14!

For the inexperienced, running by the beach is no easy feat unless u run next to edge of the water. 1 meter beyond the shoreline is great for me. If you get sand in your running shoes, you’ll be in deep s****. You’ll inherit blisters as huge as golf balls or worse, you gotta call it quits.

I had to wait in the scorching – burning - hot sun to wait for the fellas to cross the starting line to get the best start-up shot. Dunk myself ¾ chest-up in the salty liquid for another cool long shot & caught up again with the “4 pretty chicks”. Really pretty chicks these…

If you think that’s the end of it, you’re mistaken. The gooey stream full of mud awaits. Either u jump across (if you got giraffes legs) or u you cringe by the sight of the dark yucky matter. I wasn’t afraid of the latter, although thoughts of the Loch Ness monster lurking beneath the murky water lingers in my mind.
I decided to pole vault across. Imagining Yelena Isinbayeva’s solid ass in front off me…
Cars whooshing by, runners panting, some cursing their team-mates & taking their frustrations on the marshals. At the 2km mark, I see some bewildered poor souls hallucinating. “What the hell of a mess have I got myself into, should have stayed home by the telly…” Some were clinging for dear life to their partners like some parasites on trees even though his/her partner is half dead him/herself.

Jelly legs gave way. Oh no… by this these poor fellas are gasping for the colorless, odorless, tasteless diatomic gas with the formula O2 aka Oxygen. The third most abundant element in the universe by mass after hydrogen & helium.
One decided to have a cat nap in the middle of the woods.

From dead leaves…dead homo sapiens on dead leaves, what irony.
From earth we come from earth we return…scary

I met "The Swami" in a hole & its no sweat negotiating the hills.
The Three Stooges made it down the slope without any ills.
With some great team spirit sea crossing.
Always respect the vast seas, with a blessing.
Be a monkey & smack the bell,
Either Robin Hood or William Tell,
Mangrove trees a barrier to the tides…God’s creation.
Both of them should be mentioned.

We crossed trek the undergrowth we met-up with the "Atuk Kebayan",
That later bid us farewell, lurking behind the sacred wall of the well.
Asking us where do you think your going hei punks?
Ran towards Fatnawati negotiatiing under the fallen tree trunk.

By now u can kiss your Nike, Reebok or Adidas goodbye, Even if u were to sell them to the “Bundle” stores, they’d probably turn them into “belacan/shrimp bar” or worse turn them into “otak udang/petis/shrimp paste”
Better watch out when you put these concoctions in your favorite "laksa" dish.

Sad...sad...sad...a beautiful beach front wrecked by filth! The smell, oh my...intoxicating.
Locals say its seaweed, more like human gunk to me...we kill the earth.

No wonder we will be annihilated at the end of the world, every single one of us...

Ha ha!

No comments: